Our 2nd day back from our honeymoon, moved into our housing near school, I was in church and a girl was saying, “When I first got married and moved into this congregation , I had a really hard time making friends. I had my husband, but he was my only friend, and that happens to a lot of us when we’re first married.” I was thinking, “Oh. I’m really glad that’s not happening to me; I almost have friends lining up to hang out with me every weekend.”
But as the weeks went on and I hung out with old college friends, I didn’t know what to talk about anymore. We played board games instead of chatting. I felt like I was going obsolete. Then I felt like I was drowning. I didn’t have roommates, I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have classes. I was in our apartment almost all the time. And I realized that a lot of my friends had either graduated and moved away, were on internships, or that I just didn’t have anything to say to them.
I guess what struck me the most in all of this was that I can still chat with my few married friends here for hours, but I am at a loss for words with my single friends. Did I only ever used to talk about boys when we got together? Anyways, the divide between married and single friends has been striking and much more dramatic than I ever would have guessed or wanted. We are still friends, and I’m sure that as I make my life more interesting, I’ll have more to talk about. But the phenomenon was really strange.