I Finally Put Together A Montessori Kitchen

We did it. The IKEA kitchen is put together now, complete with a thrifted water dispenser with real water.

I never got dressed today and didn’t clean anything until bedtime, but it’s done 😅

For anyone curious, giving toddlers a water supply they can access on their own is an idea from the Montessori methodology. Clark super enjoyed filling his cup up, guzzling water, and giving it to me and @coltonkopsa
I’m going to add snacks, wash cloths and dishes to the cupboards for further independence.

And yes, there was some dumping of water, but I’m confident that if I’m firm about taking the water away whenever that happens that he’ll learn.

New Morning Routine

I’ve decided to start blogging for five minutes every morning. It’s gonna be fun!

My current morning routine is going to last at least 45 minutes. This morning I also decided to commit to meditating 10 minutes every morning.

BUT even though all these things will make me work later, they are going to give me more power over my life.

A few more minutes every morning is nothing.

Plus, blogging is something I really look forward to, but never have the time to do. Hopefully this helps me feel more like I have something to look forward to everyday in spite of the grind.


Sunday morning is here again. I did stay up until midnight and sleep in until 8 so I barely have time to write.

But I did clean the house yesterday. And it felt like it took an hour for us to just clean the living room and kitchen, which “weren’t that messy”

And I did get one project done yesterday: making sensory bins.

It is December 1st. I’m trying to not be a grump about Christmas.

This is my thought process around Christmas time:

Oh wow it’s Christmas time again. Aww man, I loved Christmas as a kid, but now it feels like a disappointment. I was SO obsessed with Christmas as a teen, and then I realized that it didn’t live up to those expectations, and ever since then I’ve been at best uncomfortable with Christmas. At worst I’ve been angry that it has betrayed me and I always want to skip Christmas. Then I think, “Well what you’ve really got to do to get the Spirit of Christmas is serve others. Do something from Light the World.” So then I keep trying to think of ways I can do ‘enough’ and I manage to eek out one or a few things, mostly or only donating money online. And think, “See, there’s some holiday spirit, I don’t really feel it still but that was a good thing to do.”

And then on Christmas morning I try to ignore the materialism and especially not get grumpy inside about what I did or didn’t receive, which I always do. But I DO really enjoy watching people open gifts I gave them. I think the coolest Christmas morning was when we made homemade gifts for all the siblings. However, the week leading up to that was stress ball crazy, But it was fun too. I made a sloth for Merritt that ended up looking like an Adventure Time character and that was really rewarding.

Yeah so I think this year I am going to make a plan to make a plan today about holiday activities and service so that I can actually do some stuff.

It’s just too much.

I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going with my life.

I want to be a stay at home mom.

But I also want to be able to do philanthropy and make a difference.

And I want to be able to buy nice things. Not silly things, buy nice things, like a climbing toy for Clark, or a trip to see family. Or a quality necklace for a friend.

Quarter Life Crisis: Am I Actually Going Where I Want To Go?

The other day I wrote, “It’s morning and I have time to write!”

I’m realizing today that I could write every morning if I chose to make it happen.

Anyways, this week I did a couple of things that kind of have me turned around.

First, I created a lovely spreadsheet of our incomes and how long it will take us to accumulate $300,000 on our incomes with such and such spending habits.

6 years.

We have a big income so it’s crazy to imagine how long this takes the average household.

The other thing I did this week was get serious about goals. I started posting on my instagram for mom hacks every day and I started doing duo lingo every day. I started replying to people’s texts more promptly. I stopped spending nearly as much time online shopping or scrolling social media. Basically whatever time I was spending on my phone was more productive.

But I was exhausted.

So I guess making a more mindful plan for my money and my time got me into kind of a slump.

Now I’m asking, “What is it all for?”

So, first off things that I would like to spend more time on are:

Quality time with Clark.





Visiting family.

Making friends.

Getting in touch with old friends.

Discussing books with friends.

Helping people out somehow.

Reading great books.

Listening to great music.

Looking at great art.


But I do still want to work on having a clutter free, beautiful home that promotes mental and spiritual health!


But I feel like my current life feels like a hollowed out shell.


I thought I wanted to start a business of creating a bunch of goods that I think the mom market wants, that I want for sure, and then use that business for good as a b corp that donates a large amount, has great maternity leave and stuff.

But that sounds so stressful right now. But I think I still want to do it. But I also have to make time for the above list as well.



Diary 11.10.19

Yesterday we went to the temple with the ward. There was a luncheon afterwards so it was definitely an all day affair. It was a lot of fun to be with a bunch of friends having fun. Kathy watched Clark for us.

Today is Sunday and we slept in. I should be getting ready for church.

Last night I bought some wooden nesting/stacking cups for Clark. He loves putting things inside other things so I think he’ll love them.

I’m so excited to get him all the open ended wooden toys I wanted as a kid. He’s not old enough for a lot of them yet though.

So far he has a Waldorf doll, which he does like, he likes giving it hugs and getting kisses, just like his other stuffed animals. But you can tell he sees that it’s smiling. The first time he saw it he laughed. I want to get him a stroller for it but I guess I haven’t because the wooden ones I’ve seen are kind of ugly.

Then he has

Actually I think his first other open ended toy is going to be this stacking cup set.

He does have a Montessori object permanence box, but that’s not open ended.

He does have a Nugget play couch. Which is a little too old for him. He does love climbing on it when his cousins are. And he loves hiding in it with me when I hide in it. He’ll hide in it by himself too. But overall not getting a ton of use out of it yet.

And then he does have animal photo magnets, which he does like. You can tell that he is curious about what they are.

But mostly right now his favorite things to do are:

Carrying things around. Interesting things are big things with handles, but he also just likes having something in each hand all the time.

Putting things inside other things, including himself. He’s started doing this with smaller things lately, like pens in a cup, so I want to make a color sorting pen cup type game.

Peeling tape, stickers, and magnets off.

Pulling things out. Ie ribbons or pom poms. Laundry, stuff in cabinets.

Opening and closing boxes, cabinets, doors, drawers.


Reading books with pictures and solid backgrounds

Holding, touching, tasting, carrying, exploring anything that is new and hasn’t been seen before.

Lifting anything heavy. Such as a giant jug of popcorn kernels, and good sized pumpkins.

Anyways, mostly when he’s had enough sleep, food and socialization he always finds something interesting to do whether it’s toys or household objects. Yesterday he found Colton’s toiletry bag. It has a small handle and is a little bit heavy so he was obsessed with toting it around.

If we don’t hang out with family for about half the weekend, he gets depressed. And even if we do, then by Friday he gets depressed also, even if there is a playdate during the week. He needs more playdates than one, haha.

And honestly those same circumstances get me depressed. I just have more social media surfing to do than him.

Most of his actual toys that are meant to toys right now are:


Xylophone and a piano

Open/close boxes (small boxes with different kinds of lids and hinges that I’ve gotten at the thrift store).

A bubble machine

Random little cars/trains

Stuffed animals and doll


Ring stackers (which he just started trying to do this month of life)

Nugget couch

Easter baskets with handles to carry and put things in

Costco boxes and big baskets to climb in

A small plastic set of drawers to discover things in. (The kind you get at Walmart to organize your house)

Object permanence box

Morning free write 11.5.19

It’s morning and I have a little time! Lately I’ve been so sleepy by like 7:30. Actually that’s been happening for long time. But maybe because daylight savings just ended, is been easy peasy to go to bed at 9 or earlier. Such crash. Much tired. Wow.

I love my little bean. I LOVE sleeping next to him so much. I’m so glad I stopped listening to,”Nobody likes Co sleeping! You’ll never get them out of your bed!” That’s not good I actually feel about it, society.

I want to get another Nugget.

I’m a little discouraged because our taxicab Nugget feels too orange. Our futon frame and our cabinets are orange wood. We’ve got to get some contrast in that room.

I’d also like to get wall art up but I’m not sure what. Maybe I could start with a hat and a box and plants. Plants are good.


You know what irks me the most!?

Baby meal kits/meal plans.

I mean, I’m sure if you are getting them to replace some expensive formula it kind of makes sense. But even then a baby still needs to get a certain amount of formula in a day and you can still feed them much simpler cheap and easy meals.


Make an effing smoothie for yourself, give some to baby. Cut open avocado/banana/strawberries, give some to baby.

Why in the world does a 7 month old need a $5 a pop meal plan?

Why???????????? Are these a thing?

You know what irks me?

People who think they’re all that and a bag of chips because they’re Buddhist. (It’s kind of the hippest religion right now, you might say?)

Disclaimer: this is not totally how I feel and I also apologize for my college 101 world religions level understanding of Buddhism. I’m sure that an expert could tear this rant apart.

I remember being on campus at BYU-I once and overhearing this girl saying something to the affect of, “I’m Mormon but I’m not that Mormon. I’m Mormon, but I’m also Buddhist.”

And mark my words, she said in an uppity way. Not like she seemed a snobby person in the traditional sense. But like she thought she thought she was enlightened or seeing the real picture, but really she just identified with this unique religion that made her a special snowflake, and that she expected to give shock value.

And I’m just like, “Who do you think you are?”

(Lol, this happened like 3 years ago but I’ve never vented about it to anyone and it’s still on my mind :P)

First off, Buddhism is a philosophy so anyone can easily be Buddhist and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (I mean, to a certain extent). You’re not actually rebelling or being dramatic like you sound like you’re trying to be.

Second, a tenet of the doctrine of the Church is that we accept all truth from every religion. So inasmuch as Buddhism is true, every Latter-Day Saint is Buddhist. And whatever parts of Buddhism aren’t true (like, for example celibacy (? not totally sure how this officially falls under Buddhism)), are not part of our Church doctrine…. Wait, I don’t know where I was going with that. But I mean, she probably doesn’t believe in celibacy. So what does she mean by being Buddhist that isn’t part of Church doctrine already? Or easily incorporated as an application of Church doctrine?

IDK, maybe I’m being harsh.

I have a good friend who says he is an existentialist Latter-Day Saint. Something along the lines of it’s right for him but he believes other things are right for other people. And there are logical holes in that (though I don’t think it’s meant to be logical, in the tradition of Kierkegaard, the first existentialist, who says a lot of irrational stuff on purpose), but you don’t see me ranting about that. Why have I never felt the need to rant about that? Because he doesn’t advertise it like it makes him a special snowflake.

That’s what I have the problem with.

And I sort of still also have a problem with someone saying they’re Latter-Day Saint and Buddhist. Maybe because I feel like I already incorporate Buddhist teachings into my life so I don’t feel like it’s that meaningful to say. Like yeah, we believe in “letting go” and thereby avoiding a measure of suffering. That seems like something almost every human would say sounds like a good idea. And also I assume almost all Church members and the prophets would agree that meditation can be a good way of inviting the Spirit, putting off the natural man, etc.

I guess I should have walked up to her and asked her what exactly she meant by identifying herself as Buddhist.

Anyways, I acknowledge that this is mean and I don’t actually know this person’s story. But I just wanted to say it anyways.

Actually, third of all, I feel like she didn’t understand that the gospel of Christ is a step up from Buddhist teachings. Letting go turns into giving things to Christ, who always turns what we give him into something better. Believing in Christ is letting go AND exercising faith and hope that all things will be made better than we can imagine. To me, it’s the best of both worlds.

Anywhozzle, this is probably coming off as condemning and therefore not very Christ-like and therefore hypocritical. But really I’d like for people to not use religions or philosophies as fashion statements (I am not in the clear on this).